Listen up, that's all I ask.

How else will you understand my message?

The article voiceover of “Listen up, that’s all I ask” is Part One of my testimony. To fully understand my message please read the full post.

The problem I have is that you just won’t listen. Not to be curt, but don’t you know that listening is the key to understanding? All I ask is that you listen up and read the entirety of this post.

Listen up to who?

I hate to admit it but for fifty years I didn’t know how to listen. And it’s not all about listening (because I do have hearing loss), but more importantly I didn’t seek understanding. There are many positive attributes to living a lifestyle that embraces recovery, but the most beneficial one is we learn to listen. And it really isn’t just about hearing but learning from those who appear different than ourselves.

We are shaped by our experiences. Those experiences will dictate our choices. We live in a world that is quick to judge others. Mainly because they do not think like us, as if we hold the barometer of what is acceptable in this world. This behaviors leads to the divisions within our communities.

When I sit in my circle or listen to another person’s testimony I am learning empathy and in turn can offer compassion. It’s not about judging the other person but understanding them.

The Importance of Listening

What I have discovered the past three years is that we are more alike than we are different, but it is through our differences that unite us.

When we see someone we are quick to make an impression. We see their differences and right away it’s a demerit against them. But when we hear their stories and learn what has shaped them the similarities are surprising.

We can only heal as a country (or world) if we choose to listen and understand those who have an opposing viewpoint. It is within the listening where we will find unity.

Listen Up. I have a story to share.

The Author of Your Story is a newsletter that promotes healing through writing. For the month of October I encourage those who have had a transformative event in their lives to write and share their story. We can offer hope to those who are in the midst of their struggles.

My Testimony

Through out the month of October I will share my testimony on Substack. I will break it into three sections. All I ask is that you take a listen. This is no easy feat for me, because I am extremely insecure with my verbal presentations. If you choose to listen to my story you will understand why.

Part One

My name is Karen and I am a grateful believer.

I was born a child of Christ, April 6, 2021, fifty years and sixty-two days following my first breath. My earthly parents, who adored me, Christened me at a young age, and then set me off into the broken world so I could crash and burn.

At birth I was given the gift of free-will, with the ability to make choices. For fifty years I lived on self-will, making choices that would take me down a reckless and dangerous path. It is through God’s-will that I get to stand here in front of you today and share my testimony.  It is a testament to how through Christ I changed my life. I am a life changed by Christ.

On April 6, 2021, following my spiritual death, my life began. I was reborn with a purpose, something that I lacked in my life. To better understand my transformation I need to give you some backstory. I will share what transpired to initiate change, my past and then where I am today.

Just two days following Easter Sunday, 2021, I sought redemption from my past. Three weeks prior on March 17, I self-destructed and broke into large pieces. Following a night of alcohol induced binge drinking I found myself in a situation that I was not capable of managing. The insanity of the alcohol took over and I found myself arrested for assault. This signaled a need for change in my life and a change that I was eager to make.

I struggled with alcohol for most of my adult life and already accepted I had a problem, Step One - Admitting Powerlessness. Step Two - I prayed for God to remove my obsession to “Binge Drink,” but not asking for full abstinence. It was on March 17 that I did Step Three - Turning my life over to God. I knew I could no longer live on my self-will.

After a thorough search of my options to rehabilitate I quickly learned the gravity of my situation and discovered the brokenness of our society. I selected a holistic rehab that would address my mind, body, and soul. So off to rehab I went. My goal was to learn how to live life without the need to drink alcohol. Alcohol was my problem. So I thought, but when I learned on April 6 that my private life became public, and the news of my arrest made its way into my community, although I was states away in rehab, I couldn’t bear the shame. The large pieces of myself shattered. Now I was dust.

It became apparent that alcohol was only the symptom of something far greater. It was my pride that would bring me down.

Proverbs 16:18 GNT Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance to downfall.

 Alcohol is what initiated the need for change but it was my problem with pride that made me want to change. It was time to humble myself before the Lord. My gift to God was a woman not just fractured into pieces by her choices, but reduced to dust so God could shape me into the woman He requires of me to do His good works.

I was desperate for forgiveness and to make amends with myself, but I wasn’t ready. I took my gift to the altar,

Matthew 5:23-24 GNT, So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, go at once and make peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift to God.

There was work to be completed and God wasn’t going to allow me to skip a step.

I simply could not put my past behind me without opening up old wounds that were covered with bandages and never had healing. It was time to do a thorough introspection of my life. I needed to peel away layers of guilt, resentment and bitterness that stemmed from years of unresolved shame. There was a lot of work that needed to be done and God was very purposeful placing me away from my family and friends to heal among strangers.

In my younger years I had trouble forming solid relationships. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I understood what true love is, the kind of love a man gives a woman. Up unto that point I made poor choices when it came to men. I determined my self-worth from the young men who came into my life. I learned this from my upbringing.

My sexuality defined who I was.

Part Two

In part two I will share my character defects that stem from my childhood.

Part Three

The conclusion is how the insecurities of my youth turned me into a prideful woman. My downfall is my pride.

The Importance of My Testimony

It is clear that after I did a thorough introspection of my past, it was my past that defined me. When I turned my will and life over to my higher power, God, I was able to break free from my past and create the ideal woman that I strive to be.

We all are capable of making the necessary lifestyle changes. It takes courage and hard work but oh so rewarding. It’s my wish that my testimony will offer hope to others who struggle with their past.

Listen Up to Everyone

My country, USA, is preparing for an election and we, the citizens, are doing our best to cause division. I enjoy reading memoirs that share transformations of the downtrodden. Two of my favorites are The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls and The Hillbilly Elegy, by J.D. Vance. We learn from people who have overcome their past.

Within a Substack post I referenced a man’s story of how he overcame his dysfunctional upbringing. Because he is a controversial figure within politics, immediately his story was dismissed by a reader. At one time I was quick to judge and dismiss others. Today when I do not see eye to eye with another that is when I choose to educate myself and seek understanding.

When stepping foot into the rooms of recovery politics isn’t discussed. It’s very refreshing to be around people who focus on the good of people, not what they perceive as bad. This is what makes recovery a judgement free zone.

Your Story

I’m ready to hear your story. How did you overcome you past? I encourage you to share your testimony to Substack and remember to tag me so I can understand who you are today.