Can you keep a secret?

Let's keep this between you, me and Substack.

Sometimes I want to share something but not broadcast it for everyone to read.

So what do I do?

I simply publish it to Substack. It’s on the world-wide web, but only seen by those who might have the slightest interest of what I have to say. For example… my husband, daughters, and best friends are not on Substack so it’s the perfect place to vent and talk about them behind their backs.

But that is not who I want to be.

My intention is to turn over a new leaf, not gossip, but solely focus on my problems. Why then would I spew my thoughts on another person’s problems? After all, they are none of my business.

So back to my “friend.”

My “friend” is going through a rough time and recently I had the opportunity to spend time with her. She is a woman who is big on therapy and for years has been wrestling with her problems. Many would not view her as a woman in crisis, but she is really struggling.

You may question, “Karen what business do you have with her problems?”

Funny you should ask, for I am a self-help writer, so then I must have all the answers. Well… not exactly. I found what works for me and that is writing. Writing allows me to work through my daily struggles, it keeps me from hiring and paying a professional.

My “friend” is still seeking and hasn’t turned to me for the answers.

And that’s okay because I am not a fixer, but I am a healer. In her eyes she doesn’t view me as a professional. She is well aware that I have a blog and share to my social media, but she isn’t one of my avid supporters.

What can I offer my friend?

I am a sounding board for her, not someone she is looking to for professional advise. She most likely doesn’t think that I relate to her problems which is true. Our problems are vastly different, but our solutions are the same. What she needs most from me, her “friend,” is an ear to hear and a shoulder to cry on.

My “friend” isn’t looking for my voice of reason.

I really struggle with friends and family not taking my writing seriously. The character flaw of self-seeking rears it’s ugly head. My irrational voice tries to tell me that everyone should want to hear what I have to say.

This is where my self-help writing factors in.

I can focus on my “friend” not being interested in learning from my voice of reason or recognize my problems for what they are. I am using self-seeking behavior and allowing my insecurities to surface.

So what’s a girl to do?

I turn to God. I don’t need to please anyone and understand that God offers me the unconditional support I need to heal. My strength and courage is from Him. He is my creator and I am accepting that I am an imperfect human being. I cannot allow my insecurities to prevent me from healing.

And what is my “friend” doing?

My friend is a Christian woman who is leaning away from her faith. She shared with me that she is more spiritual these days (then I am guessing as a follower of Christ).

And that is okay, because I do believe that people stray over time and they are always welcomed back. But I find when I lean in, personally, that is when I find healing.

The Secrets Out

I Karen, with Grow With Karen am a self-seeking blogger. Please no I have stepped out of denial, am surrendering it to God, and am a work in progress.

What you also need to know…

This is not the post I intended to write and publish this week. Not only did I take time away from my normal schedule to be present and spend time with a friend for a few days, but I had an unexpected call from my mother’s caretakers.

My mother who is in her eighties isn’t doing well and it is important that I be with her. We are also invited to a party this weekend to celebrate the marriage of my father-in-law and his new bride. So while I post Grieving for what should have been, dedicated to my mother for time lost, I am still mourning the death of my mother-in-law.

I am having a rough week.

Life is happening and my intended weekly post Mixed Messages: Causing confusion with words, needs more time than I can give. I will post that next week to give you another quality post.

Thanks for listening to me vent. Please subscribe or follow and I can return the favor.