A Mother's Worst Nightmare
My Daughter's Story
I inhaled her childlike innocence as her wispy blond curls gently grazed my nose. Warm tears washed over my face. My arms wrapped around my daughter’s body, barely able to cradle the young woman she had become.
Softly my daughter wept in my strong arms, silent sobs. She needed her mother. As her mother, I was always by her side shouldering her pain. A shield protecting my child. Only a mother can protect their child like no other, until the daughter is forced to be the protector.
My husband choked on the perverted scent of the cold metal as he inspected the carnage. His razor-sharp tears of fury stung his face. His head was about to explode as he tried to wrap his head around the destruction caused by the apple of his eye.
The tense atmosphere could be cut with a knife, not a butter knife. Each of his disgruntled outbursts felt like the knife twisting inside the gaping open wound. And then the silence—the sound of grief.
We all grieve differently. The grieving I felt that day was so very intense. No woman should experience the pain of her daughter grieving in her arms, while her husband grieves alone. Not allowing herself to grieve, because she will always be a mother and a wife before she is a broken woman.
– A memory from March 18, 2021
Chapter Eleven of Swallow Your Pride, A Writer’s Guide for Recovery
“My Daughter’s Story” is Chapter Eleven of Swallow Your Pride, A Writer’s Guide for Recovery. Each week on Substack up to the beginning of February a chapter will be shared. The original book written as memoir is being transformed into a self-help book. To read the full introduction see A Writer’s Guide to Recovery and for previous chapters reference A Writer’s Guide for Recovery in the menu tab.
Central Argument for Swallow Your Pride
I went through life hindered by my own flawed character, choosing to cast blame on others, not accepting the source of my problems–me! I was a woman losing the battle of life and resorting to alcohol to cope. Not only was the alcohol toxic, but my daily routine was doing me in.
“My Daughter’s Story” Chapter Highlights
When writing memoir its best to avoid telling other people’s stories, keeping the focus on ourselves. Swallow Your Pride’s focus is to encourage the reader to write their own story.
There is more to my story and I am not the one who should be sharing this chapter. For clarification I invited my daughter to share her version of event in the book.
The accident isn’t my story to share.
This is a climatic scene that is a second arc in the book. The book leads up to this and my problem is understood.
Themes
Fractured Relationships
When we choose to abuse alcohol and/or are alcoholics our personal relationships are affected. Alcoholism is a family disease because of the impact it has on our loved ones. Even when we choose to not drink but do not make the necessary changes, as a dry drunk, the family suffers.
I grew up in an alcoholic home and the impact of my father’s behavior shaped the woman I am today. I am choosing to break the cycle for my daughters. This chapter and the next focuses on mending relationships with my daughters.
Motivation For Change
As a mother I should be the number one role model for my daughters. Surrendering my daughters to God, relinquishing the control I thought I had and placing my faith in my daughters’ for their ability to make choices are needed and both offer peace. It’s time to live by a healthy example.
Accountability
Not only do I need to heal my relationships but I need to own my mistakes. In “My Daughter’s Story” I share my court statement and how my court experience shapes how I view other convicts.
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Chapter’s Conclusion
My life is no longer on trial. Timothy Keller’s Pride shares how in Jesus Christ, you get the verdict before the performance. “The ultimate verdict is in. You cannot justify me. I cannot justify myself. It is the Lord who judges me. Romans 8:1–2 (NLT) ‘So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.’”
Court is adjourned.
Word Count
2747
Journal Prompts
Have you ever put yourself in a situation where you have impaired your judgment?
Write about it… Be honest. Maybe you had just one more drink than planned, and the ride home was within reach. Perhaps, you relinquished your keys to another who was equally impaired, relieving yourself of the responsibility.
Scripture Verses
At the conclusion of each chapter is an opportunity to reflect on the Bible verses.
“The ultimate verdict is in. You cannot justify me. I cannot justify myself. It is the Lord who judges me. Romans 8:1–2 (NLT)
Once we seek salvation and are redeemed through Christ we can put our sin to rest.
Are you living with a sin that keeps you being judged not just by others but yourself?
By accepting Jesus as your savior do you know your sin will die and you will be given the opportunity to live free?